"Ugh...Why hast thou forsaken me?"After a calm and collected Carson Palmer expertly led the Cincinnati Bengals offense on a 6 minute, 91 yard touchdown drive that eerily mirrored his USC Trojan's game-winning drive against the Ohio State Buckeyes the night before, things seemed pretty darn good in Bengal-land. Up 7-6 with only 38 seconds to play, the team seemed almost assured of a win. They had somehow found a way to overcome dumb penalties, wasted opportunities, and 55 minutes of inept offense to steal a victory and avoid a crushing opening day loss at home.
Then the all-too-predictable disaster struck. In a play that could really only happen to the Cincinnati Bengals, a desperate Kyle Orton lobbed a pass that was nowhere near his intended target and was subsequently tipped into the air by Bengals cornerback, Leon Hall. For any other team, the ball would have either been intercepted by one of Hall's teammates or merely fallen harmlessly to the ground. But because these are the Bengals, Denver wide receiver Brandon Stokley just happened to be in the perfect spot to catch the deflected ball and scamper 87 yards for a touchdown to give the Broncos (after a missed 2-point conversion) an unbelievable 12-7 win in Cincinnati.
I am left with only one explanation for this madness: There is a God, and He absolutely hates the Cincinnati Bengals with a passion. So God, on behalf of the downtrodden football fans of Cincinnati, I implore thee, please spare the UC Bearcats from your divine wrath. They are our only hope of salvation...oh, the Bearcats and your son of course. Heh, heh, heh...Please don't smite me!
