Kinky...

 

Note to AP: Spellchecker is your friend...

Attention Friends and Family...

I know what I want for Christmas.

It's nice to see another country challenging Japan as the world's number one source for bizarre shit.  Well done, Korea.  Well done.

Kinda Gives a Whole New Meaning to "Bait and Switch..."

Man Calls Police After Prostitute Raises Price

Southeast Michigan police say a man called authorities on Wednesday and complained that a 19-year-old Ohio woman he agreed to pay for sex with raised the price after accepting his money.

Source: http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/weird/NATL-Man-Complains-After-Prostitute-Raises-Price-168163636.html#ixzz25Mz7qi00

My fellow primates never cease to amaze and bewilder me.

My new anthem

The last minute of this song is pure fucking genius.  All hail Bat-yote.  He doesn't give a chainsaw.

Countdown to Extinction...postponed indefinitely.

May 21, 2011, 8:51 P.M. EST

Dear Diary,

Hmm, I'm still surrounded by Christians.  I guess God stayed up late last night helping Fred Phelps come up with witty new catch phrases for his picket signs ("God hates fags" is pretty good, but it's getting a little stale, in my opinion) and simply couldn't work up enough energy to start the Apocalypse today.  I'm somewhat disappointed, as I was really looking forward to a world without Kirk Cameron...

More later,
Derek

Blaaarghh! Get to the Choppa!!!

 

Slayer meets Dethklok, with just a dash of Tool for good measure.

How in the heck did it take me so long to find out about this?

Get Funky!

Never again shall I make fun of my father's dancing...

The King is back...

Now come the days of the King! May they be blessed.

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

At Long Last

After years of fruitlessly searching sacred texts, mystic scrolls, and late-night public access television, I believe I have finally found my messiah.  She speaks great truths with unbridled joy and passion. She will grow stronger, wiser, and lead us all out of the darkness. Behold the splendor of her divine words, and rejoice!

And I quote, "We should just kill all of the cows and just eat them."

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.

Computers aren't that difficult...

Oh how I wish I would have found this chart years ago.  Thank you Randall Munroe of XKCD, I love you...Well, except for the Obama endorsement, that is.